10th Annual
Pig Roast

and
Folk Dance
Fundraiser
at
Community Homestead

Community Homestead is a non-profit organization living and working with people with special needs.

Saturday, June 27
3-9pm
501 280th St.
Osceola, WI

Tickets: $12 for adults, $6 Children 6-12 years, FREE for 5 years and under.

Organic food - Live music - Raffle
Horse and Carriage Rides - Vegetarian alternative, buffet served between 5-7pm.
Children's activities.

Kurt works in the garden all summer at Community Homestead. He has made many friends there and enjoys his job.

The Next Step

I dropped the paperwork off last Wednesday so Kurt could begin attending the day services program at BRIDGE for Youth with Disabilities. The packet of paperwork was about an inch thick. Most of the questionnaire had to do with Kurt’s abilities, likes and dislikes. For example, I put pizza at the top of his favorite foods list. Some of my answers would be used to develop goals for Kurt, so he could make progress on social skills or telling time, for example.

We let Laurie go last week. She had been Kurt’s aide for four years, since I began working. Kurt was home with her three days a week and spent his other two days working at Community Homestead (CH). Laurie used to go to CH with him, but recently decided not to do that anymore. Her decision was the catalyst for change. Now was the time to help Kurt be less dependent on one person and more active in the community.

For the summer, Kurt’s younger brother, Kelly, will be helping Kurt and driving him to his activities. He’ll be working at Community Homestead three days a week and going twice a week to Bridge. This will give him more time with friends and allow him to be more active.

In six months or so, Kurt will go to CH four days a week, and then five some time next year. Eventually, when Kurt is ready, and CH has an opening, my son will leave home.

Water Balloons Among Friends

With red squirt gun in hand, Kurt sprayed water down the pine tree's trunk. He would sometimes dig out old toys, as he did now, while we camped. He easily entertained himself with collecting kindling, tending a fire once his dad got it going, and playing with small construction vehicles. Although he is twenty, developmentally his skills ranged from five to teen.

That made it hard for Kurt to socialize. We found some activities where he could join in with peers: challenger baseball, therapeutic horseback riding and his twice weekly work at Community Homestead.

While sixteen-year-old Kelly usually brought a friend or two on camping trips (this time, two), Kurt didn't have someone to bring.

Meanwhile, I found a bag of water balloons and set them on the table outside. Maybe the boys will use them.

Kelly and his guests sauntered across the grass to our campsite after their swim. They threw their towels over the clothesline, and plopped down in chairs. Thomas saw the balloons.

“Oh!” He grabbed them and ran to the water faucet.

Pretty soon, all three teens were having a water balloon fight, with round wet spots appearing on their t-shirts. Kurt joined in with his squirt gun, laughing and running along with them.

Kelly and his friends decided to fill several balloons and sneak up on some girls they knew. They invited Kurt. Off they went.

I smiled, grateful they had included Kurt.

When they came back, Kelly said, “Kurt giggled and covered his mouth the whole time we were sneaking up.” He smiled. “And then he squirted me!”

Kurt laughed.

For me, this was the highlight of the weekend.

Author Appearance - Yea!

Come celebrate the accomplishments of our extraordinary kids. Hear Kurt's inspiring story written by Bridge parent Donna Karis, one of the heartwarming essays by parents of special needs children in A Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs, (May 2009; Adams Media).

Saturday, June 13
9-10am
BRIDGE For Youth with Disabilities
at First Presbyterian Church
1901 Vine Street
Hudson, WI

The national Cup of Comfort series is celebrating the differences in our extraordinary kids. Come share the big and small accomplishments of your kids. Learn about the benefits of sharing your stories. This will be Donna's first public reading. The Cup of Comfort book will be available for purchase, and the author will sign copies for attendees. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Bridge.

Camping

Nearly 20 years ago, Paul and I took three-year-old Keith and one-month-old Kurt camping. In a tent!

“You don't have to do anything,” Paul said. “Just take care of the baby.”

He convinced me. Keith was devoted to his dad and “helped” him set up camp.

We crawled into our sleeping bags that first night, with Kurt wrapped up in his portable bassinet. The temperature dropped to 45 degrees. I woke, it seemed like every hour, worried that Kurt would be freezing. I moved his bassinet between Paul and I to give him more body heat. I touched his cheek and watched him breathing. He was warm and comfortable.

Early morning, sounds of Kurt cooing woke me. Dawn brought sunshine through the trees nearby and shadows of leaves danced on the tent canvass. Kurt was mesmerized by the visual display. His eyes were wide, and his pudgy arms and legs wiggled with excitement, all the while cooing his pleasure. I laid beside him, silent so I wouldn't disturb his reverie. An hour went by before Kurt decided he was hungry.

Paul kept his word. He took care of everything, with Keith at his side. I sat in a chair and took care of Kurt.

Spring weather has called Kurt to camping every year since.

Girls!

Girls were at our house last night. A blonde and a brunette, wearing slinky gowns. One didn't have shoes on; the other, hightops. Sixteen-year-old Kelly was decked out in a black tux, with a yellow vest and tie to match his date's dress. Kelly's friend Thomas arrived with his tux on, but going more casual without a tie and the shirt open at the neck. Prom night had arrived.

Sometimes I'm surprised at Kurt's reaction. While he is academically about five-years-old, his emotions, powered by hormones, are all teenager. I forgot that, until Kurt reminded me when he went ga-ga over the girls.

How does a five-year-old impress the girls? By bringing his toys out to show them! First came this huge alarm clock that Kurt had purchased at a garage sale last week. It is the size of a dinner plate. Kelly and the girls looked it over, kindly humoring Kurt and trying to get the alarm to ring. Then Kurt brought out a police car that makes noise and flashes lights. I decided to put a stop to it by catching him in the hall before he brought more out.

We went outside to take the couples' pictures by the red brick siding along the front entryway. Kurt grabbed his camera and followed, snapping photos. He's usually not this involved. In fact, he quite often stays in his room, ignoring visitors. But these were girls!

Kurt has not gone on a date or attended prom. But being attracted to the opposite sex is still there.

Watching him is bittersweet.

Community Homestead

Kurt and I started going to Community Homestead (CH) when he was 14. We met Nadine on our first visit. She took us on a walking tour of the premises on a sunny spring afternoon. There were trails to each of the six houses, where some activity was performed by work groups. The house on the edge had a bakery, then we walked a path mowed through the field to the white house with the barn full of chickens. We crossed back over to the main farmland and saw the other houses, visited the calves in the milking barn and then back to the garden where we started. All along the way we met other people who lived and worked there.

Once we got started volunteering, Kurt and I attended twice a week. He settled into stenciling note cards with a group at Altair and I did brain gym activities (that's another story), then helped paint puzzles with a group at Morning Glory.

Being at CH was one of our most valuable homeschooling experiences. I wanted a place for Kurt where he was welcome, he had friends, and he was doing something. He was given patience to learn at his own pace. I worried that he wasn't living up to their expectations and pushed him to do better. They gently taught me that his pace was his pace, and that I should back off. They separated Kurt and I so he could be his own person.

Kurt started out in the stained glass group. I learned more about him. He worked with cut glass, carefully washing the piece after the solution was painted on it. I would have never given him something sharp that might injure him. When I picked him up once he was sitting at the kitchen table, a big knife in his hand, cutting potatoes, and I made an audible gasp. It took me by surprise. He could have cut his finger off! I quickly recovered and had a huge revelation. For the first time, I realized Kurt was capable of more than I gave him credit for.

That day changed my behavior. I gave him more responsibilities at home. He was 14 and he had never had chores to do! He began setting the table and unloading the dishwasher. I learned to let him do more of his self-cares, things I had gotten in the habit of doing for him.

Seeing Kurt's capabilities wasn't the only transformation. Each time I helped make drip candles or paint wooden puzzles for an afternoon, I felt the stress lift off my shoulders. Taking time to focus on one task had a huge impact on me. I was a multi-tasker, managing a lot of things four our household of five. People go to spas and spend hundreds of dollars to alleviate stress. I would spend an afternoon with new friends, doing something productive and creative and get the same results.

I don't get the opportunity to join in the work groups now that I'm working. Dropping Kurt off this week since Laurie isn't doing it wasn't a bad thing. I still feel the stress drain away as I enter the beautiful landscape.